#also I like digging in dirt and finding bone :3c

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Eighty-Four: Pick Oneself Up ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, gore ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

She can feel the ache in every muscle: from strain, from blunt force, from rock digging into her skin every time she hits the ground. But no matter how many times he throws her, beats her, grinds her against the earth...Hinata gets back up again.

Like a faraway echo, she can hear Naruto’s voice: screaming, ordering, pleading for her to run.

But she’s done running.

Once again she picks herself up, arms shaking violently with effort. Shards of stone - unburied after Pein crushed and decimated her village - pierce through her palms. Those gentle yet deadly palms that just can’t quite seem to reach her target. He’s too fast, too strong...but she’s made more progress than she honestly expected. A few rods are gone, a few chipped, a few -

Her body is screaming, telling her to let go: lay in the dirt, don’t invite more suffering! But her mind argues: she loves him, she does, she loves -

Weightlessness, a giddy feeling in her organs as they float freely in her abdomen. Is this where it ends? She’s not afraid to die - she hasn’t been since she accepted Neji’s beating. There are causes, people, feelings worth dying for.

And he, she’s sure, is all of them wrapped into one. He inspires everyone like he inspired her. The world needs him.

It doesn’t need her.

And she...she loves him...she loves him…

...doesn’t she?

Another blunt impact, and her body jolts, eyes closed. This time...there’s no getting up. She knows this. She’s seen it a hundred times, a thousand times, over and over and over again in her head -

There’s that strange grating sound as he summons another rod. Her heart pounds, flutters weakly, every part of her screams to run before it plunges into her side just under her ribs, and -

Sitting up with a gasp of breath as though she nearly drowned, Hinata’s pale eyes are wide, but still stuck halfway between dream and reality. It felt so real...it always feels so real…

It was real...once upon a time.

Unconsciously, a hand grips her side as her chest pumps with breath, feeling through the thin fabric of her nightgown the ropey, knotted scar where that...thing impaled her. She can still remember the pain, of course...but also that strange pulsing, that...unnatural feeling of chakra that wasn’t hers coursing through her body.

Even now, it makes her skin crawl…

Too unsettled to sleep, she abandons her bed and dresses - it’s about four in the morning, sky still dark and Konoha quiet. Straight to the point, Hinata simply flees through her window, chakra muted and taking silently to the rooftops until she leaves the Hyūga clan compound behind.

There’s hardly a soul on the streets - mostly just patrolling shinobi that look to her curiously, but don’t bother to stop her. A few pass her on their ways home after a late-ending mission, talking quietly in the still night air.

Distractions...but not enough.

She can’t quite decide what she wants. Something to keep her mind busy, or simple silence and solitude. While the latter would mean brooding, it also means not being seen in such a state. Most wouldn’t guess it, but Hinata has her own measure of pride...though it’s mostly born out of a want not to inconvenience anyone. If someone sees her upset, they’ll take the time to comfort her.

She doesn't want that...not really. Sure, it’s nice...but it’s also selfish. Friends might argue against it - they have far more than once - but there’s just no changing her mind.

Then, before she realizes it, Hinata looks up and finds herself at a growingly-familiar section of the village. As of yet, there’s still no wall...part of her is curious if they’ll ever put one back up. For now, it’s still a very stark contrast. While this part of the village is tucked in a rear corner, the once-full Uchiha district is now almost completely grass. With Sasuke out of the village at the time of Pein’s attack, there’d been no need to rebuild anything. Not until his and his brother’s and his cousin’s returns. Now three homes are all stand within the open expanse, near the rear corner. A gravel path is all that breaks the monotony of green.

It’s...peaceful, in a way...but also a somber reminder of how empty it is, in more than one respect.

And just visible in the distance, confirmed with a sweep of her Byakugan, a figure sits atop one roof.

Seems she’s not the only one still awake.

Without thinking, she turns onto the path and starts walking again, branching left toward the youngest Uchiha’s house. It’s not as grand as the new manor for the ‘heir’ and his family, but...something tells her he prefers it that way. Besides, given her rather frequent visits to Itachi’s wife, it seems when he’s home, he’s typically in the manor, anyway. As is Shisui.

The lot of them stick together. And quite closely, too.

Of course, she understands why.

“Evening,” she greets softly, looking up to the spine of an eave Sasuke’s perched on. One leg dangles down, the other bent at the knee and supporting a forearm as he stares out at...well, who knows what, honestly. For a time, he doesn’t return her gaze or greeting. He knew well enough she was there before she even crossed into clan land.

“...is it? Or would one consider this morning?”

Before she can stop it, Hinata looses a gentle snort. “You sound like Itachi-san, musing like that,” she can’t help but tease.

Though barely visible, she still catches a twitch of his lips.

“...I suppose it depends on whether or not you’ve yet to sleep, doesn’t it? If you have...it’s morning. If not...still evening. Right?”

Finally, he turns his head to look at her. “...guess that’s one way to look at it, sure. So...which is it for you?”

“...morning.”

“Evening.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“Too awake. You?”

“Bad dream…”

“War?”

“No, when Pein attacked. I intervened when Naruto-kun was nearly captured...I almost died. Still gets into my d-dreams sometimes. It’s been a while. Guess I’m...a little shaken.” She keeps the explanation bare bones. “...I was hoping it had stopped bothering me.”

“Fear and trauma aren’t so easy to set aside. There’s plenty of things I saw or felt that make their way into mine.”

The admission shocks her a bit, earning a surprised glance. “...I guess you have a point…” Maybe that’s why he hasn’t tried sleeping yet.

“Walk help you feel better?”

“...a little. Not sure I’ll try to get back to sleep, though...might just rest a bit later today.”

“Hn.”

“...is it too late for you to try?”

Silence, for a time. “...still thinking. I’ll nap later. I’m used to missing sleep.”

“...well, I hope you get some rest, Sasuke-kun. I better get back before someone sees I’m missing and sounds an alarm…”

Sasuke can’t help a small, humored scoff. “How old are you and you still have a curfew?”

She gives him a look. “People are still paranoid...I was kidnapped when I was three.”

“I remember...our clan was pretty shook up too, fearing someone’d try that on us. But you’re not a kid now: you’re full grown, and one of your clan’s strongest. They should have a little faith in you.”

In spite of herself, Hinata smiles softly at his blunt, yet complementary reply. “...it’s better than it was. People just...still worry. Just like your brother looking out the window at you on his way back to bed.”

Looking surprised, Sasuke glances to the manor, then to her.

“...I saw him on my way in. Sorry.” She knows well enough people often feel spied upon when she uses her kekkei genkai.

“...nothing to apologize for.” A thoughtful look overcomes his face. “...well, you best head back then. Maybe I’ll try turning in for a few hours.”

“All right. Goodnight, Sasuke-kun.”

“Night, Hyūga.”

Leaving him to his devices, Hinata wanders back out, finally thinking back over her dream. Though it was largely the same as its always been, some of it felt a little...different. After all, with the war’s end, it’s been all but confirmed Naruto doesn’t return those feelings she so ardently gave him before offering her life for his.

Usually that old flame feels just as vibrant as it did that day when the vision revisits. A little awkward, really - she’s doing her best to move on, after all.

This time, though...it felt...muted. Questioned. Like her past self wasn’t sure anymore. Like she had a reason to doubt. Maybe she’s making progress in reining in her feelings?

...maybe…

...well, it’s too late - early? - to be contemplating such things. For now...she needs to get home.

It’ll be a long day on so little sleep.

     Done before midnight again, woo!      This...didn't go quite as I thought it would when I started, but I guess it works? Not too much focus on the theme, but...it's still technically in there, it counts xD      Hinata's been trying to forget Naruto, and...it's a little slow-going. But it also appears something's helping them move along...hmm...I wonder what it could be... :3c      ANYWAY, I've got more to work on, but here's today's piece! As always, thanks so much for reading!